Analog Your Algorithm

jen murphy parker
10 min readNov 28, 2023

In Thanksgiving for Strangers

I scrolled to the bottom of hopelessness the other day.

The algorithm has figured out that I’m a hypothetical baker. If you’re gonna meticulously frost a cupcake to look like a miniature lattice pie (!), I am going to watch. If you’re going to show me a time lapse of a variety of goods baking in an oven, I’m also going to watch. Probably a few times in a row because, wow, the way a muffin does rise and appear to breathe as it leaves its doughy self behind.

This is the exact kind of gentle content I need to cut the acidity of my feed these days. So the other day, when instagram served me a post about a way to pre-cut butter into even portions to make baking easier, I was drawn in. Oh look at that — such perfect little squares ready for happy combining. I read a few of the comments in case someone might be sharing a recipe I might need someday when I really start baking for once and for all and for real.

THIS IS THE DUMMEST [sic] THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. WHO NEEDS THIS??????

IF YOU WERE A BAKER, YOU’D UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!

It’s clear some of you HAVE NEVER BAKED A DAY IN YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!

Again, the topic here is butter.

I mean is the world really filled with strangers who are this angry about butter…

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jen murphy parker

Jen Murphy Parker is a San Francisco-based writer exploring what exists in the middle - of parenting, of health, of life.